This collection of funny redneck jokes includes riddles, long-form jokes, dirty jokes, and much more. There are a lot of corny, crappy jokes about rednecks out there, but we worked hard to really find the best redneck jokes on the internet. What does a redneck and yeast have in common? Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve? Hold my beer and watch this! What do a gang member and a redneck have in common? They both know how to throw a good hoe down.
The Funniest Redneck Jokes on the Internet
Period Sex A teen girl decides to have sex with her long-term boyfriend on her period for the first time. They lay a towel down on the bed in his family home and everything is going as planned until he withdraws and they hear a splattering sound. They look up to see his white bedroom walls have been, erm, redecorated. The Boyzilian A woman and her date are lying in bed kissing. They decide to take things to the next level but when he reveals his naked body she is shocked.
Carell was screaming in pain, but we were screaming in hysterics.
That said, the silver lining of a weird, funny, or just plain bad date is that it always makes for a great story. It was ridiculous, but, lucky for him, we both started cracking up. I was SO excited. I got super dressed-up and went to the campus bar to meet him. I guess I drunkenly gave my number to a random guy at a party who happened to have the same name as this cute guy in my architecture class.
It was super embarrassing but I made myself stick it out with a smile until the date ended.
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The Best Comedies of From cerebral, amusing indies to full-fledged laugh riots. Some of the funniest movies in recent years have been the bleakest, but that doesn’t mean Hollywood has completely given up on delivering LOLs to audiences. Though the year is not quite over, it’s brought some pretty phenomenal comedies to the big screen—some that quietly amuse us, others that leave us doubled over in laughter.
Some of the funniest movies in recent years have been the bleakest, but that doesn’t mean Hollywood has completely given up on delivering LOLs to audiences.
One of his most brilliant moments: The scene in “Sleeper” when Woody and Diane Keaton try to kidnap the president’s nose. Yes, just a nose. There’s also a steamroller involved. Soda will be shooting our your schnozz when you watch. This Is Spinal Tap Who didn’t cry with laughter when the tiny Stonehenge on a string was lowered onto the stage mid-concert? Blazing Saddles Of course, you can’t mention fart or poop in movies without paying tribute to the granddaddy of them all, the chili-’round-the-campfire scene in “Blazing Saddles.
Animal House So many scenes to choose from: But we laughed loudest when high jinks at the homecoming parade catapult a Playboy bunny through the air and into a prepubescent boy’s bedroom: The Year-Old Virgin The entire audience and every other actor in the scene shrieks along with Steve Carell as he gets his hairy chest waxed for real. Carell was screaming in pain, but we were screaming in hysterics. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Everything seems so adorable and charming as Steve Martin and John Candy, two stranded travelers forced to share a hotel room, wake up spooning.
Until Steve asks John where his hand is. Broadway musical “Springtime for Hitler” is the slow pan of the audience’s open-mouthed, horrified reaction to it.
Period sex and lost condoms: The funniest real sex stories women tell their friends
Begin Slideshow This article was originally published on November 13, We long for the days of poring over the Traumarama section of Seventeen. Not only were these cringe-worthy tales of toilet paper on shoes and farting in front of boys hilarious, they also reminded us that just about everyone lands in awkward situations from time to time. Beyond that, everyone gets embarrassed and lives to talk about it.
With this in mind, we figured it was high time to rekindle that embarrassment solidarity, particularly in the realm of periods.
The pain increased and she shouted out loud.
The Funniest Jewish Jokes. Part 2 These classic jokes are quintessentially Jewish and put me into hysterics. Some you may know, others may be new, but all are: No such thing as Jewish humor?! Jackie Mason and Ricky Gervais separated at birth? So for you, dear readers, I bring you my absolute faves. With a rub, out popped a genie. Moshe, the boss, looked around and calmly said. I want those schnooks back in my office right after lunch! The Jewish boss, like We Jews, was not only skeptical a miracle not in a desert?
The clergyman entered to start services: Finally, the distraught clergyman moved to Avram. Could there be a funnier or sharper way to respond? Is It My Business?
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Make sure to check out our sports trivia and trivia on the Founding Fathers to get a leg up on your competition. Crafting a quiz team name that’s equal parts offensive, hilarious, and topical is an art form and there are some teams that are awful at it; these are not those teams. Funny team names won’t help you win having these celebrities on your team might , but they’ll definitely give you some points with the crowd.
How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?
Another priceless design fail posted on the site is an image of a set of double doors that says ‘pull’ but is missing one vital element – the handles. Missing the mark on the fantasy front, is the Disney princess puzzle that shows Cinderella with an enormous nose due to an unfortunately designed puzzle shape.
And a kid’s bubble bath in a Minion-shaped bottle, would be more appealing if the red liquid didn’t ooze from the goggles, making it look like cute little character is weeping blood. Parents might also think twice before sending their children down an elephant slide that protrudes from the great beast’s backside. Two important messages have been emblazoned on a ferry to make it look like ‘No safety’ is being recommended along with ‘smoking first’ – messages that might come as a shock to passengers Another design fail includes a set of double doors that say ‘pull’ but are missing one vital element – the handles Parents may think twice before sending their children down an elephant slide that protrudes from its backside Designers didn’t think this one through too throoughly.
This escalator ascends straight into a wall A news article about ‘grapefruit’ also sends a strange message when the ‘g’ is dropped from the headline and replaced with a slice of the fruit in an attempt to exercise some visual creativity. In another case of misguided creativity creating, an exchange bureau that added dollar signs to its facade may create some confusion for customers with a sign that seems to read ‘sexchanges’.
But consumers may be slightly less inclined to buy the syrup as unfortunate graphics seem to show it being urinated into a bucket. An advert for Vermont’s pure maple syrup:
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Advertisement 8 of 43 “This happened back when my husband and I were first dating. He was spending the night, maybe for the third or fourth time. I woke up from some unsettling dreams and rolled over to cuddle with him. He rubs my arm a bit and sleepily says, ‘Oh yeah? I’ve always had problems with that filter that normal people have, that filter that keeps them from doing the things their cave-dwelling ancestors did with impunity.
An advert for Vermont’s pure maple syrup:
The Funniest Jewish Jokes. Part 2
The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
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How do you know you are a real redneck?